Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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