Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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