How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
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