Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
