I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
