How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize