Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
