im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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