My nipple is on Facebook.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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