Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize