i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize