Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
