you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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