I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
