So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
