obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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