At least make sure they are 18
Why
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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