Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
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