Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
