so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
