ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize
