its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
