you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Vodka?
Forever.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
