Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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