Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
