That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
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