I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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