Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
