Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I'm bleeding and have questions
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
