he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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