is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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