How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
