There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Will you blow on my dice?
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
