Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
