So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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