I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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