So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
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