It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
dude. I can hear the air.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
