All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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