O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
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