i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
