he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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