I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I have demons in me.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
