He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
