with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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