She is in my trunk
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
