I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
