I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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