I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
COCAINE IS GR8
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