Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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