thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize
