haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
