So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
