I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
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