Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
