i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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