wat bout pragnant strippers??
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
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