I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
