you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Randomize
