goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
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