the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
