jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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