Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Ketchup is God's man juice
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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